When the Unexpected Arrives at Work: Helping HR Professionals Understand and Support Employees Who Have Experienced a Sudden Loss

Guest authored by Jennifer R. Levin, PhD, LMFT, FT of Traumatic Grief Solutions

Nothing can prepare you or your employee for a sudden loss of a loved one, friend, or colleague. From the moment anyone learns of such an unthinkable event, disruption ensues. The grief of an employee who experiences a sudden or unexpected loss will not follow familiar rules. It won’t wait for convenient timing. Nor will it respond neatly to a few days of leave.

Why Grief After a Sudden Death is Different

When an employee is confronted by a sudden or unexpected death, the realities of grief are different. What follows is grief that feels raw, confusing, overwhelming and unpredictable. Although every employee will grieve in a different manner, the unique realities of sudden and unexpected death help explain some common patterns that you might observe in the workplace.

• It is common to respond with shock, numbness, or disbelief. The world may feel unanchored, tasks that used to make sense suddenly seem impossible.,sleep might be disrupted, and concentration might vanish. The emotional and cognitive effects —fragmented focus, memory gaps, difficulty keeping up with decisions or deadlines—often go beyond expectations.
• A sudden or unexpected loss may also result in “unfinished business” in a person’s life. They may struggle with things left unsaid, family roles may change overnight, or they might be thrust into legal, financial, logistical, or caretaking responsibilities. Practical chaos, such asfuneral arrangements, bills, memorials, estate management, may also occur alongside the emotional pain, all while the employee is still grieving and still trying to be present at work.
• Grieving employees may start isolating. They may feel as if no one understands what they are experiencing. They may also be afraid to share physical symptoms, nightmares, or the inability to stop thinking about what happened to the deceased. Intense feelings of guilt, regret, or blame may be held in, fearing judgment or loss of professional opportunities.
• Existing pressures get magnified. Caregiving duties, debt, or other life responsibilities, become compounded burdens next to their grief. Grieving becomes a second job, that follows them into online meetings, it wakes them at night, and distracts their thoughts. The demands outside of work often become heavier than what’s expected on the job.

The physical and mental toll in a grieving employee is real and wide-ranging. Sleep disturbances, fatigue, headaches, anxiety, panic, emotional swings—any or all may become part of the daily rhythm.It’s not unusual for someone to “clock in,” but still feel profoundly depleted, distracted, or emotionally fragile.

There is no timeline for grieving after sudden loss. There are no predictable phases. A person might feel some footing after a few weeks, then be blindsided by anniversaries, reminders, or events that reopen wounds. What felt manageable becomes heavy again without warning.

How HR Can Be a North Star for Grieving Employees

For HR professionals, supporting employees through sudden grief means more than having a bereavement policy. It means thinking ahead, being compassionate, and sustaining support. Here are ways HR can best show up:

1. Immediate Response with Flexibility
   When news arrives, offer immediate time off but don’t limit care to just the first few days or weeks. Provide flexibility to accommodate funerals, rituals, AND ongoing needs.
   
2. Recognize & Validate the Trauma
   Acknowledge that sudden loss is traumatic. Encourage managers to reach out, “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” and offer space to share, if the employee wishes. Listening without judgment matters.
3. Provide Ongoing Support
   Use Employee Assistance Programs or partner with grief and trauma counselors who understand that post-traumatic grief often involves prolonged symptoms. Support the logistical side too: help with paperwork, executor duties, financial stressors.
4. Train Managers
   Equip managers to observe signs of distress. Train them in compassionate check-ins. This is not a one-time service. For employees to feel genuinely supported and cared for, compassion and understanding need to be on-going and consistent.
5. Cultivate a Grief-Literate Culture
   Normalize grief as a part of life affecting work. Encourage sharing to reduce stigma around needing more time or mental health support and ensure employees know what kinds of support exist.
6. Review and Adapt Policies: Look at bereavement leave: Is it enough? Is it adaptable for different kinds of loss? Are there supports for long-term side effects (emotional, cognitive, logistic)?

To learn more about unexpected grief in the workplace, attend our webinar: HR’s Essential Role in Grief and Trauma, with Dr. Jennifer R. Levin from Traumatic Grief Solutions, on Wednesday October 22^nd at 11:00am.